Friday, March 11, 2011

March Madness!!!!!!!!

I'm with these guys, Jorts (jean shorts) and Nati Light beer sounds like a sweet time!!!....Ready for the tourney to begin!!  Sad sidenote, my wife's backet beats mine every year. :(

Things to teach your son

It's clear that fatherhood did not come with a manual. Somewhere along the way I have to teach this kid something other than how to pee standing up (still working on that one).  So I asked friends and family, read other dad blogs and compiled a short list that will carry your son through adulthood.  These are gems of wisdom that I will impart upon my son in the coming years.

1. When you have to do something to the car in inclement weather, you must always get out of the car with the driver. Even if your assistance is not needed, and especially if it's freezing cold. No one knows why this is necessary, but it is nevertheless.

2. Never threaten and then fail to follow through. Even if you end up getting your butt kicked, it will be a salutary lesson to watch your mouth in the future. Bluffing is for poker, not the real world.

3. Even if you don't like football, baseball or basketball, know the teams and a few relevant facts about each. If you do, you will always have something to talk about with other men while the girls are chatting.

4. Know how to throw a ball, shoot a gun, change a tire and throw a punch. This will allow you to avoid 75 percent of all humiliating circumstances.

5. Learn how to leave a room in anger without stomping. It just looks stupid.

6. Ask for permission once. If the answer is no and you're going to do it anyway, just keep your mouth shut and do it.

I smell Poop

Before I explain the title of this post I need to press rewind for a sec.  There was actually a time when I would go to a resteraunt or movie and judge people with kids...I WAS that guy.  Why didn't they just stay home with those whiny brats?  This was their choice to have them and now they are ruining my nice quiet time out!!  Press fast forward....a wife and 2 kids later....I GET IT!!!  We don't want to be around you childless people as much as you don't want to be around us at a resteraunt.  We know that a meltdown might go down, its just a fact of life.  We would rather be around other families so when it does happen, they give you the "its cool, mine will probably lose it any second too" nod!  Thats a great nod, makes you feel better.....your in the company of people that GET you and the things you have come to understand. 

                               This guy deserves the nod....and a beer

Which brings me to...I smell poop.  My wife and I always smell poop.  I end up searching high and low for the poopy diaper that got rolled up and lost under the couch or bed.  Your around poop so much you smell it even when its not there.  Now don't get me wrong, my wife keeps our house as clean as it can possibly be, especially with a 2 and a half year old that can destroy a room quicker than you can blink an eye.  And I will give credit where it is due.....for every diaper I change my wife has changed a the poor thing is subjected to many more smells that I am.....but I guess its just a reality of parenthood....poop is here, and its here to stay.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Sleep.....Whats That?

It's 3 AM.....thump thump thump....I raise my head and open my tired eyes...HOLY CRAP someone has a flashlight on and is searching the house.  OK dude, I gotta man up and defend the castle......its go time baby!!  I have watched enough UFC to know the basics....the burglar is getting the rear naked choke hold in a sec!!  As soon as I get out the bedroom I see the intruder.....he is short....I mean really short.....its my 2 1/2 year old son and the flashlight I bought him at the dollar store!!!  Shew!!!! 

                              OK...not my son but its all I had at the time!!

This pretty much sums up every night for the past 3 weeks.  Ever since my son has figured out how to get out of his crib....this has been what sleep is like.  Dont' get me wrong, I thought he would have figured that one out a while back so we have been sleeping on borrowed time.  Other than the burglar incident, there is a new thing every night.  Last night was just as bad, between my son getting out of bed and going in the living room and turning on the TV to my 9 month old daughter crying until momma put her in the (squeaky) swing in our bedroom......sleep is hard to come by!!  Wouldn't trade it for the world! ;)

Going Bald? What do I do now......Buzz it!!

I am sure a great deal of us will encounter this very problem at one point in our lives.  I am currently dealing with wife calls it my "situation"! haha  Thankfully we are living in a time where the fix is easy, and most women think its cool.  I am talking about the buzz cut!!  Yes the buzz cut, the final destination!!! 

My hair loss began after I got married and started having kids (imagine that), at this point its receding and the back is fading.  For a while I was just pushing hair over to attempt to cover the areas but one day saw a guy with a similar pattern doing the exact same thing.  I had to ask this the beginning of a comb over?!?!?!  Dear God NO!!!!  Nothing is worse than a guy with a comb over.  I imagine these guys actually believe they are fooling people to thinking they aren't going bald.  Ugh, what was I going to do.  With limited funds and the lack of patience to do hair treatments, I decided to try the buzz cut.

Luckily, in college I buzzed my hair once and I loved it.  So I had a good idea what i would look like.....but this is 10 years, a few pounds, and a receding hairline still scary to do!!  I started exploring the web for other guys that had done this and came across a ton of celebrities that have the same concern. 

                            Jason Stratham, pullin off the buzz n beard!                          

Carey Hart (married to Pink) sports a very short buzz

David Bekham

Frederick Ljunberg, professional soccer player

So now you are ready to take the plunge.  You have accepted the fact that the hair is NOT returning and that you are going to own your look.....not disguise it!  Depending on your level of baldness you can go with different lengths.  If your only beginning to lose yours a bit then  a #2 or 3 guard on your trimmer will do the trick.  If your hair line is a bit more advanced then a #1 guard like Carey Hart or Frederick Ljunberg (pictured above) is really what you need.  I promise, once you do this you will be free of worrying about this problem.  Your confidence will automatically go up and more women will look your way.  The shorter you cut it the more often you will want to maintain it, I recommend about once a week will do it.   If you have it really short like a #1 then its more like twice a week.....but this only take about 5 will still spend WAAAAAAY less time than what you currently do trying to get the existing hair to cover those bald spots juuuust right! Ha  Want more are a few my buzz cut buddies have given me...

"Not worried about any weather condition, wind, or wearing a hat that would mess my hair up."
"I have ridden lots of rollercoasters/amusement park stuff with my wife--don't have to worry about the hair."

"Gone to the beach all last summer, swimming, pool parties etc and never worried about my hair."

"Learned to ride and bought a motorcycle--I can ride anytime, anywhere without worrying about messing my hair up."

"People look into my eyes when they talk to me, and I know whether they are being "real" or not."

"Got some cool nicknames like "Skeletor" and "Captain America""

"Get much more sleep than I used to--shaving it every day is EASY, and takes much less time." 

Anyways guys, happy buzzing and leave some comments.